Widow asks late husband's 18-year-old brother to invite her to family Thanksgiving after she got knocked up 4 months after her husband passed: 'My parents don’t want to get attached since it’s not their grandchild.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Nov 20, 2025 8:00 AM EST

Such a challenging situation for everyone involved.

People always say, "there's no wrong way to grieve," but as a society, we don't really believe that. If a mother brings up her son who passed away days after he was born at every occasion for 20 years after his passing, people would not think she has grieved in the "correct" way, and maybe they're right. It's probably not "correct" to never get over the loss of a family member, but it happens all the time, and sometimes there's nothing one can do about the grief they have that does not subside, no matter how much time has passed or how much therapy they have attended. 

The same can be true in the opposite direction. Sometimes, people don't grieve for as long as society would deem acceptable. If someone is publicly partying mere days after losing a friend or a close family member, that might be their way of coping with a loss so significant. It might look flippant and uncaring, but everything is not always as it seems. It's not the 1800s anymore. We don't have "mourning periods" where we must wear black for a year and never leave the house.

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  • A woman sitting at a Thanksgiving dinner table covering her face with her hands
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The widow in this story did not grieve in a way that society would deem “normal.” Less than 6 months after her husband passed, she got pregnant with another man's baby, and it hasn't been easy for her late husband's younger brother, or his parents.

  • Am I the bad guy for backing my family instead of my brother's wife?

    I (18M) lost my brother (26M) about 6 months ago, a few days before my birthday and graduation. I was really close to him. I miss him a lot and its been hard on me and my family.
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • After my brother passed, I spent a lot of time around his wife trying to support her. Early october, she told me she is pregnant. I wasn't really expecting that and it was a lot to process.
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • Grayscale photograph of a contemplative young man
    via Kenny Eliason

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Since she told my parents, things have been awkward. They don't treat each other badly, but it's clear they've been growing distant. My parents also said they don't want her around when the
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • baby is born because they don't want to get attached since it's not their grandchild. She's been distant for a while. I'm in college, so I don't see her or my family much outside of texts and calls.
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • She assumed she would be at Thanksgiving. I don't plan Thanksgiving, so I didn't know if she was coming. My parents decided it wasn't in anyone's best interest for her to attend because it would make everyone uncomfortable. Seeing her pregnant with someone else's child would be hard on them while we are still grieving my brother.
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • A group of people standing in front of a doorway
    via The Good Funeral Guide

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She asked me to talk to my parents about reconsidering. I told her I didn't want to get involved, and I think that's for the best. Forcing her to be there wouldn't help anyone. I feel my family and I are grieving differently than she is, and she said okay. A few hours later, I sent her a goodnight text and she sent one back. That was it. It's been about 6 days now since we last texted.
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • Iheartchocolate37 These are conversations she needs to have with your parents, not you.
    via u/Iheartchocolate37
  • goatbusiness666 NTA. It is completely weird and inappropriate for her to be seeking comfort from an 18 year old boy and trying to put you between your parents and her.
    via u/goatbusiness666
  • Shadow4summer NTA. Since there's no kids involved, it's probably easier for your parents if she's not there. It's got to be so hard on them that she's already pregnant by someone else, someone who won't be their grandbaby. Plus, is she planning to bring her new man around?
    via u/Shadow4summer
  • SugarLoveyy yep, nobody wins by making everyone sit through that awkwardness
    via u/SugarLoveyy
  • DatguyMalcolm this I don't understand why she wants to be there when she's already pregnant with someone else's kid. She should be at Thanksgiving with the baby's father family I'm sorry but it seems selfish of her
    via u/DatguyMalcolm
  • Kooky-Today-3172 She Lost her husband six months ago, unless she was cheating, I think It's hard the baby is the product of a relationship close enough to bê at thanksgiving...
    via u/Kooky-Today-3172
  • Spicy WongTong Now I'm picturing Will Ferrell's character in Wedding Crashers... I'm a horrible person
    via u/SpicyWongTong
  • shammy_dammy Did she and your brother have any children together?
    via u/shammy_dammy
  • Right_Locksmith5103 OP No they didn't have any.
    via u/Right_Locksmith5103
  • Pale Pumpkin_7073 NTA. I'm with your parents on this one. I don't know whether this was a one night stand out of grief or she's in a new relationship but showing up pregnant to Thanksgiving is a giant reminder of the children that your brother will never have.
    via u/Pale_Pumpkin_7073
  • Noodle_Nips Exactly, some lines are just too painful to ignore, and showing up like that was completely insensitive.
    via u/Noodle_Nips
  • night_noche NTA and this is definitely a very odd and awkward situation. I'm sorry about your loss. Your sister-in-law did move on extremely fast but who knows how their relationship was so it is best to step back and not get involved.
    via u/night_noche
  • dancingmonkey1418 We have no info about her relationship with the father. We don't know if she moved on or was desperate in her grief. People dont always act in their own best interest when they are hurting
    via u/dancingmonkey1418
  • Annual_Version_6250 NTA Grief is a weird thing and I'm not going to judge your SIL for however she got through the initial stages of grief. I'm just not. I was widowed in my 30's and I was in a fog for months. But I also found someone a few months later. (I had been been married less than 4 years). All I'm saying is sometimes you need to prove to yourself that YOU are still alive. So I will not judge her actions.
    via u/Annual_Version_6250
  • BUT bottom line is, she's really no longer family. They didn't have kids together and she's now pregnant with another man's child and she somehow thinks your parents should be okay with that? That thought process I will judge.
    via u/Annual_Version_6250
  • Such_Log1352 This is all sad. If that's how your parents feel, you can't force it. Does she have parents and family on her side who could support her? That's probably best right now. Your parents might resent her being with another man so soon and feel some natural animosity towards her. It's a tough time for everyone. Sorry you're stuck in the middle but in my opinion, your parents have already lost one son. They don't need to feel they're lost you too. Go to Thanksgiving without the SIL.
    via u/Such_Log1352

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family drama baby pregnancy brother mother widow dad father in law grief mother in law family pregnant Reddit mom grieving parents Father younger brother
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